A is for Arrivals

“How’s Latvia?”
“Lithuania.”
“Sorry?”
“Lithuania. I’m in Lithuania, not Latvia, it’s the next country south.”

So begins the typical conversation with people when I return to the UK after spending time in the aforementioned Baltic country which has been my home for the last two years.
With people I meet for the first time the conversation usually begins…
“Oh, Lithuania. How interesting.” Pause. The cogs turn, they try to visualise a map in their head and I see their eyes wandering over Eastern Europe, rather lost and confused. “Where is Lithuania exactly?”
I like that often people use the word exactly. It makes it sound like they do actually have a clue about the existence of a country about one third the size of England. Exactly, as if they know it’s somewhere off a motorway, and is it junction 21 or 22. If you want to know exactly then you might like to ask your Sat-Nav;

If you start in London, then let it be known that your journey starts in a congestion charging zone. After this expensive start, travel to Dover...

Board the ferry DOVER-CALAIS at Dover for the next 1.18
miles.1.16 miles (1,9 km)79.4 miles (127,8 km)

Leave the ferry DOVER-CALAIS and continue on DOVER-CALAIS.0
miles (0 m)79.4 miles (127,8 km)

I'll spare you the intimate details, but, once in France, you're heading East, through Belgium, the Netherlands and then say “auf wiedersen” to Germany, “do widzenia” to Warsaw and, after being sat behind a lorry on a single carriageway road for 10 hours, you’ll come to Lithuania. This is actually a personal variation on the sat-nav suggested route. She's a lovely voice, but doesn't fully understand the intricacies of European history and politics. Whilst Poland and Lithuania are fully signed up members of the EU and as of last week also the Shengen zone, the Russian Kaliningrad oblast is not. You will need a visa to transit this living reminder of European 20th Century history, so, it's better to head South a little. However, should you drive too far south you will find Belarus. Like it's Russian cousin Belarus won't allow you in without a visa and various other documents, so you may as well turn around and come to Lithuania, where the border guards will (as of last week) no longer ask to see just as many documents, but, thanks to the EU, will welcome you to Lithuania. If you have driven over one thousand miles to Lithuania, they will probably look at you with some bemusement since most people travel the other way, and usually by aeroplane or bus.
Anyway, as you cross the border of North-East Poland into Lithuania you will know exactly where Lithuania is.

If that hasn’t helped, put your fists side by side, the left hand is Germany, the right hand is Poland. Raise your right pinky a little. You just found Lithuania. In case you’re still wondering, raise it some more and you’ll find Latvia, raise it to the full and Estonia will greet you as well!

Welcome to Lithuania!