"Dalyte, rytoj darome siurpriza Adomui 8:30..."
(Dalia (a girl's name), tomorrow we're making a surprise for Adam).
I had been working over the weekend and hadn't slept for very long Friday and Saturday nights, so it was I looking forward to a lie-in and enjoying my birthday and a day-off at the same time. However, having been pre-warned I was showered, dressed and ready on Monday morning to receive guests.
According to plan, friends arrived with breakfast - oat cakes, croissants, bananas and apples and a feast of smiles all round. We laughed that I already knew they were coming.
I'm not sure it's a very cultural thing to do, but it's now the second surprise birthday breakfast I have taken part in and I can recommend it to anyone. I've taken part in many birthday parties and celebrations in my time here in Lithuania. I think my favourite was Sergej's surprise barbecue party in a forest just outside Vilnius. It was exactly that - a lot of his friends in a forest, quite a way from anything with a barbecue made from half an oil drum. He arrived blind folded I think and then more people appeared from behind bushes and trees to greet him with a song. It was a hilarious time and one of the first chances to enjoy the start of the Lithuanian summer. It also involved something I have only ever experienced in Lithuania - the greeting circle.
The basic concept is that people in the circle say a few words to whoever is standing in the middle.
This might involve a serious speech or just a few words, such as "I wish you joy", "I hope you have a good year."
This basic form can be used at birthdays, weddings, celebrations of almost anything. I haven't been to a funeral yet. I don't think they'd do it there. The greeting circle comes in different levels of extremity; from the basic, whoever wants to give a greeting to the full blown, everyone present must say something and the person or people in the middle should respond with thanks and a greeting of their own.
For a culture that can be quite closed on first contact, this is the total antithesis. I've seen howls of laughter and full on tears as people have shared their stories and wished others fruitful and joyful futures.
For a young Englishman this can all be quite overwhelming, especially when you know you're going to have to say something and instead of listening to what the people before you are saying, you're watching your turn come towards you like a rabbit in the headlights of an 18-wheeler.
"Come on Adam, think, think, what new words did you learn in lessons last week? What greetings do you know? Oh no, he just said that one. Right think of something else. Something quick, easy to say, that needs no extra explanation and maybe no one will notice you..." Deep breath...
"Linkiu tau daug... išminties". Wisdom
Wisdom? Well, wisdom has become my standard response to these situations. Money, joy, happiness, a wife or a husband and success have normally gone by the time it comes to me. And let's face it, we can all do with a little bit more wisdom in our lives. After a day of relaxing at home I made my way yesterday evening to Quiz Night at a local bar via Edgaras flat. We drank tea and at 19:20 I suggested we leave as we were going to be late. We walked out of his flat and soon afterwards walked into each other. "Where are you going?" I asked. "This way" he responded. I realised we weren't going to Quiz Night at all, but actually back to my flat where in the previous 30 minutes his girlfriend and various other friends of mine had let themselves in with his spare key and decorated the flat with balloons and again provided snacks and goodies for us to feast upon. This time the surprise really was kept under wraps. It is indeed a very strange experience to return only 30 minutes later to your flat and have it full of people!
I actually got away without having the greeting circle. However, I did receive two A3 pages with drawings indicating my future. Staying in Lithuania featured heavily, as did moustaches, teaching Russian and Lithuanian and a wife. In case you don't know, I am leaving Lithuania this summer, do not have a moustache, speak no Russian and don't yet even have a girlfriend...
This is me and my future wife about to commit suicide from the top of Gediminas' Castle in Vilnius.
This reads, "Adam teaching Lithuanian/ Russian languages". (I don't speak Russian and my Lithuanian's not worthy of a bow-tie yet.) I do like the moustache though. Maybe that will come true.
This reads, "Family...When? You know."
2 comments:
Hi, Adam, or Adomas,
I was very pleased to find your blog (in the comments of by friend's blog) and I especially enjoyed your story about the greetings circle. It can indeed be a very long ceremony - everyone needs to say a toast, congratulate, cite some cheesy poet or a quote about life... Lovely blog, I will be definitely coming back for more!
On the same note, I am a Lithuanian, living in the UK, a visa versa kind of story :-)
LOL at what you wrote about jumping from Gediminas' Castle in Vilnius. I'm slowly working through the ABC and thoroughly enjoying it, its qual reading!
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