U is for Užsieniečiai

An užsienietis is a foreigner, literally someone from behind or beyond the wall. Although it‘s a small country there are many užsieniečiai in Lithuania – okay, so not as many as UK or France, etc, but enough. In my opinion there are three main types – tourists, WEs and EWs.

Just by listening to people speak and looking at the number plates of buses, most tourists to Lithuania are from Poland – taking short breaks in Vilnius and the South East region – perhaps in memory of their imagined empire. There are also many tourists from Germany and also from the UK. I haven‘t actually seen many British stag-do parties this year, but in my previous two years I have cringed to myself as I‘ve walked past such groups.
Stag-do parties tend to be the same everywhere; A football-shirt-wearing, prematurely balding young man, someone dressed as a women, someone with something bizarre on his head and one person looking a bit shy and wishing all of his friends would be a little bit quieter.

There are also other groups of non-Lithuanians living in Lithuania, see Demographics.

Tourists come and go, but WEs and EWs stay for longer.

WEs are “West to Easters”, meaning they have travelled from the West – The USA, Canada, Europe. In more common parlance, these people are called "ex-pats" and are generally people who didn’t need to come to Lithuania, they’re not seeking a better life here, although they might be looking to make a few more Litas.
Some came for love – mostly men – having met a Lithuanian beauty (Lietuvaitė) somewhere else in the world and decided it would be interesting to meet the parents and see what the future might hold in her native land.
Others come for different family reasons. Throughout the 20th Century, thousands of Lithuanians left their fatherland and sought a more peaceful stable life in countries as far away as the USA, Canada and even Brazil. Years later their children or grandchildren return to Lithuania to seek their routes, learn a little bit of the language, and if they’re really cunning, get a Lithuanian passport so that they can study more cheaply in Europe.

By contrast to WEs, EWs (pronounced like a Geordy forming his own second person plural, “youse”) are “East to Westers”, coming from the Middle East, Africa and Asia.
These are people who didn’t need to come specifically to Lithuania, but somehow they found an opportunity to and they took it. Interestingly, these people aren’t often called ex-pats, they’re labelled “immigrants” and have to accept all the charged stereotyped baggage that comes along with such a word. While in the UK people complain of “those Lithuanians, stealing our jobs”, some Lithuanians can also be heard saying the same thing about those of darker skin colour who reside in the same country.
Unlike WEs, EWs don’t often live in the best parts of town, probably don’t own a car and instead of owning cafes, work in their kitchens.

I have friends who left a country in the Middle East because of religious persecution and came to Lithuania in order to work and eventually bring their families to live with them. Despite working nights and living in one cramped room, life hasn't gone according to plan and they haven't achieved the "European Dream". Recently they have been discussing moving on to another EU country now that they have a Schengen visa.

Another group came from South Asia with a view to entering Europe. They originally enrolled as students, though 3 years after arriving, I think only 2 are still pursuing their studies, a few others are working in restaurants and the rest have found their way to Paris, Manchester and Vienna through various and, as far as I can tell, illegal means.

T is for Trolleybus

SOPs for boarding a Trolleybus

1. Decide before the trolleybus even arrives that you are boarding the next bus no matter how busy it is or how many people have been waiting at the bus stop before you.

2. As the trolleybus approaches, estimate where the doors will open and stand in that place.

3. As the doors open, deny anyone on the bus the opportunity to exit. Raise one hand onto the handrail and haul oneself against the flow of people.

4. Curse anyone who even slightly touches you as they try to exit the trolleybus.

5. Once two feet have been placed on the steps of the entrance, release the hand hold and adopt the elbow barge postion.

5. a. Grit ones teeth or adopt a scowling, me verses the world, do-you-know-what-I’ve-been-through expression.
5. b. Bend both arms at the elbow with hands meeting together at the in the middle of the chest
5. c. Extend elbows outwards until the hands are touching the sides of the waist. (You should be looking like an angry teacher by now). Make sure at this point your handbag doesn’t slip off your wrist
5. d. Step forward, possibly with your head slightly bent downwards, twisting your body from left to right
5. e. Do not be afraid of others. Your stern facial expression will deflect their comments or looks and your incredibly thick coat, even in summer, will absorb any physical action.

6. Maintain this position until a seat becomes available or it is time to exit the trolleybus.

7. (For undercover inspectors only)

a. Pull out your identification badge from under your blouse and let it hang by the chain around your neck so that all can see the authority invested in you to bring justice to those who travel without a ticket (in spoken Lithuanian this is called travelling “Zuikis”, or as a rabbit!).

b. Take out a small notebook from your immensely large handbag.

c. Mete out justice.

S is for Sun and Snow, Sensible Shoes and Sunglasses

Lithuania has a continental climate - it's like a continental breakfast - you know what you're getting and it's a slightly odd experience for the English.
Cold meats for breakfast? -20 In January? “Sunshine in Lithuania? I thought it was cold there?”

From mid November until April the temperatures go below zero or hover around the single digits and snow can be on the ground – though less and less it seems each year – global warming!
Despite the cold weather, when the sun does shine on the snow covered towns of Lithuania – it can be blinding. Sunglasses are a must and can make even the most cold-fearing tourist wrapped up like the Michelin man look cool!

One of my favourite times is when the Sun is finally getting itself to peak in the sky and the snow is melting. Despite the thaw and inevitable slush and flooding that follows, it is fun to play a kind of Russian-roulette when you get dressed in the morning. Am I going to need this thick jumper or not? Will I need gloves?
Whatever the weather, sensible shoes are a must for negotiating Old Town cobbles, sandy village roads or just about anything in between. I would recommend anything with a slightly higher ankle – and if you’re a lady, then it needs to be no shorter than the lower knee cap.

Crows on the rocks - Crows take it easy as they float downriver on the thawing river.

In the summer – an indefinable length of time between the long spring and long autumn but usually involving some of June and July – the sun is out for up to 18 hours a day and if the clouds behave themselves you can enjoy weather that is better than anything the Mediterranean might offer – which has been the case for the last 5 days. 5 days isn’t much, but it’s wonderful when it comes – a time to strip off the confines of layers, let your boots gather dust and of course, don some sunglasses and strut around the cities of Lithuania or lay on the beaches until the late evening.

Of course, it's also a great time to enjoy ice-cream.